A Time of Innocence

While we were gone to pick up the pj's, one of the Band Directors stopped by to see Wil. Wil recognized him from a visit at the high school years earlier. There were many other visitors in and out, usually when I was out of the room. So I became a little patronizing as he told me some of the things they would promise. On Friday, he told me the Band Directors came back and promised to send a police car to get him and bring him to the Homecoming game and let him set with the band. I had one of the bk's double check to make sure they were serious. They were. More on that later. To me, Wil was very insecure, anxious, and he reminded me of when he was about thirteen (the way he talked and acted). I was also concerned that he had went back to a time when we weren't getting along well at all.

When he had arrived home from graduation, he had informed me he was moving to East Tennessee with a friend rather than go to college. I was livid over the news then. He did not remember that we had gotten past that. He was able to tell me conversations that we had then, which was like yesterday to him. Over the next month, I became amazed at what the mind records- details of places, people and conversations. Things I had long since forgotten about, was his reality. More on that later too.

They came to get him for more tests, so his grand parents and I went for breakfast- oh and he had a short list of things he needed in hospital. They were going to keep him for a few days and he wanted a few things like pj's, etc. Sometime in there I had the presence to ask some of the kids about his car and told them to remind me about it later. Did I mention that his room was constantly full of bk's (band kids). There was a couple of gals doating over him as well- one being his girl friend and another was an ex.

We went out to the Cracker Barrel and then to a store called Proffitts. Oddly enough they had some nutrition bars there. Knowing how kids are, and they are always hungry- I got a couple of boxes maybe more. When I took them out at the hospital, several kids took one bite and then laid them down for later. Yeah right. What was funny was over the rest of that day and the rest of our stay the kids began to eat them like candy bars.

Wil was back in his room and someone had went and got his camcorder. He had been documenting their band year to show everyone during the banquet they have at the year end. They were in hope that it would jog his memory. It didn't seem to be working. It was nearing evening when some of the hospital staff came to get me to give me his billfold and things he had on him on arrival. They wanted me to sign some papers for responsibility, which I believe I declined. I am not sure if it was at this time, but someone during his stay told me to expect between $150k and $300k in bills. Of course my brain was thinking waht? It turned out a lot less. The hospital wrote off most of it, thank God. (I only owe a little over $21k now and it should be paid off in a little under 5 years. I knew I had that 401k for something.)

Just as I was getting into this blog, I realized a few things about myself. One, with Wil financially independent again, I can do what ever I want to do. The past few years have turned out pretty well. So, as I looked around at all my opportunities before me, I asked myself what I would really like to do. The answer came quickly. In fact, I did not realize how much I wanted a job change until I acted upon it.

So, I applied, and for the past several weeks I have been non-stop. I have already made it through the first few stages of the hiring process, which I was told initially usually takes them up to six months to do their checking on me, interviews, etc. It is a totally different career. I haven't been this excited in a long time. I still have many hurdles to jump in the process. The next phase for me starts monday. I have already told work that my goal is to be out of there within six months. Hooah! I will get back to the blog as I can. Please pray I do well in my new endeaver.

We arrived back very early. Some of his friends and his fiance spent the night in his room. His fiance was very upset that he had woke up on and off in the night and did not recognize her. I tried to comfort her, but what do you say? As he started to awaken that morning, I sat beside him on the bed and asked him what was the last thing he remembered. He said graduation and then going bowling. I was taken aback. It was his senior year, homecoming week and lots of band festivities. He had been so excited that his picture in band uniform would be shown on the Jumbo Tron during halftime- all the band seniors were saluted this way.

I asked him, "So who'd you go with?" He answered with names that at first I didn't recognize. Then it hit me, these were all of his high school friends. "And by the way, he said, "you've gotten fat and and you look older." At 165, I was not fat. LOL. He was a little guarded as he answered my questions. He knew his grand parents, and one of the girls there had been in band with him in high school and he recognized her. He did not remember any thing after graduating high school, and I later came to realize some of the things from even before then. He did not remember his fiance at all.

The docs came in and checked him and removed all the stuff they had him in to keep his neck and back from moving. They told me they would be ordering more MRI's and X-rays. He had a head ache and he slept until they came to get him for the MRI.

We stayed late into the night thanking and talking to his friends who were rotating in and out of the waiting room down the hall from the main lobby. Many of them told stories of how he had helped them learning marching shows, handling difficult personalities, and how good of a leader he was. I didn't mention it to them, but a few of the stories I was familiar with because he called me frequently to discuss band functions and for advice on various situations. He was one of the leaders in the band. The U had arranged for us a furnished apartment. After the crowd left and we started to leave it was odd having to go down the elevator. I remember walking in the hospital, seeing one of his friends and her taking me around the corner to his room. I drove mom and dad over to the apartments, dropped them off and parked the car. It was a two bedroom. I went in got a shower, and dropped down on the bed to sleep. It seemed like a struggle to stay comfortable on the bed, like I was constantly sliding off. I was too spent to worry about it. I cried most of the night, but the next evening I noticed that the box springs were catty cornered up on the frame. It slept better the next night. The times I was alone were the hardest to handle.

If I were a car..... This had come without warning. I thought of all of the people I had told over the years that this University was the cheapest baby sitter I could get. I had graduated there. They had their own police department and various departmental administrations that had an interest in making sure they grew up with a balance of personal freedom and rules. After all, if something was to go awry the U would try and handle it low keyed for the sake of the U's reputation. So I never had a worry of anything while he was at school. He was a good kid. I recommended that all my friends send their kids to the U for a place to let them make their own way in a safe environment. Let them grow up and gain their independence. But it had happened, and after he had started waking up, he slept the rest of the night.

The girl who had asked was he awake and called me out into the hall was tiny, maybe five foot and 90 pounds. In our brief conversation she explained that she felt it was all her fault, because she was supposed to be blocking. Rationally I knew she was not at fault, but for a split second I felt rage, but just for a split second. Over the next few hours, I put together what I believe happened from everyone's accounts. The band had an intramural football team. Before their game it had rained and the field was wet. He was QB, two coming at him, one from both sides. One of them fell under him. He went to jump over them and the other one hit him in the shoulders. He spun upside down and landed on his head. He got up with the football, looked dazed, dropped the football, said, "Oh shit." and fell to the ground unconscious. Ambulance called.

I went out in the hall and talked to some of his friends for a few minutes staying in sight and then I notice that a Dr. was standing beside the bed. He was waking up and how they knew it I don’t know. The doctor was asking him questions and he would shake his head no. Where he was from, etc. Doc asked if he knew his birthday and he did. He was pulling at the contraption they had on his neck wanting it off. The Dr. told me that until he could answer some of the questions he asked, he couldn't take it off, because he needed to be able to ask him if he felt any pain any where to know if there was any neck injury. I told him that he needed to try and answer, but he still couldn't. The Dr.'s last question was if he knew his name and he thought for a moment and said his first name and after about four or five more seconds said his last.

I can still remember the Docs look as called me out in the hall. Doc told me that he had come on duty at six p.m. and got his chart to review. He said that he had been brought in thought triage. He said that when someone is unconscious and cant answer questions as to what happened they give them a full cat scan. He said that they have a coma scale of 1-15. 15 is me and you talking, a three is a two by four. He had come in as a six. He told me as a matter of precaution when someone is an eight they automatically put them on life support, because they figure they aren't breathing well enough on their own. He said that when they did that he popped up to a thirteen. Doc said he checked out fine with the scans and x-rays and except for him being unconscious he checked out fine. He said in fact that when he had gotten his chart, he had went to release him until he discovered he was unconscious.

I remember trying to focus on what all the Doc was saying, glad my parents were there in case I missed something, and my chest muscles were cramping up, hard to explain, but like I was try to inhale and exhale at the same time and neither set of muscles could move. I just stood there trying to focus and listen.

He said that he had a concussion and that based on how he had answered the questions that he was pretty serious. He told me that his pupils were slow to respond to light and that how some one answers the questions let them know if someone was faking or uncooperative. He didn't say faking, I cant remember what he said, but I misunderstood him and blurted out "Are you trying to say you think he is faking"? Doc said no he was trying to tell me that he wasn't. They ask a set of questions to indicate the extent of the injury. That someone who is being uncooperative wont know anything, but he knew the year he was born and his name. He told me that your name is the last thing to go and that he probably wasn't going to wake up and be himself and that I was going to have to be very patient. He told me that he could possibly have coordination problems and "you're going to have to be patient, he probably wouldn't know everyone and you're going to have to be patient, he would get frustrated easily and a list that went on and on.

He must have told me I was going to have to be patient at least fifteen times. And when he got finished Mom said you are understanding what he's trying to tell you, that you are going to have to be patient with him.